i am a victim

of increased hair-growth on my legs.

hello? i am a mongoloid. i am supposed to be fuzzfree. but obviously, my hair follicles are as ignorant as the average brat falling off his average tricycle in the average delhi colony who wants to know how come a chingpong like me speaks such good hindi. in the past few years, not only have a million follicles debuted, the bitches are even growing coarser and longer and darker. do they even care that i would appreciate it if they rather migrated to the top of my head where i am facing serious scarcity?

in another seemingly unrelated happening, my father made a cruel observation the other day about my transmogrification into an average dilli-waala, and how he would like to rid the planet of all dilliwaalas.

click!! and it all fell into place. it's not my fault. nothing is my fault - not my rudeness, not my increasing hirsutism. it's delhi. and his taxi-waalas and autowaalas and his psychosis called traffic, and the creeps that lurk by his brown-pee-stained walls. delhi is like a vampire. he drinks the blood of his victims. the victims turn into vampires. and the cycle of aggression continues.

so, that explains the new follicles. delhi has turned me into a testosterone-poisoned alpha-female.