b for babies, c for commerce

i love babies. from a distance that is. i confess my maternal instincts do kick me in the ovaries once in a while. but i kick them right back because i don’t intend to spend the rest of my life incarcerated at tihar for manslaughter of a young human (can one plead temporary insanity induced by lack of sleep?). however, if i do ever become a mother in the unforeseen future, i’ll do at least one right thing by it and raise it far far away in the wilderness where the cold, slimy fingers of commerce cannot steal its childhood.